Guest Post, Leadership, Reflections & Introspection, That'll Preach Sayings
#tcgwky – Round 2, Fight!
#TCGWKY = The comparison game will kill you.
This journal series was co-written with Pastor Corey Gibson. See what he says about #TCGWKY in Round 1, Fight! of the series.
In just the last few years, I’ve been in three distinctly different seasons of life and ministry. I’ve been in the role of leading a ministry that was “small”, I’ve been in the wilderness of transition, and I’ve been in the driver’s seat of a nationally recognized movement. The idea that the spirit of comparison is exclusive, or even stronger, in any season is just as rich of a lie as that destructive sirens’ promise that better grass exists. When I worked with a small ministry, I wanted to be in a bigger one. When I was in transition, I just wanted to be wanted, the way I felt everyone else who had a platform was… wanted. And when I had somehow “arrived” into my dream position, piloting a ministry that had influenced me for years, I was still just as empty and green as I had ever been. Shades of inadequacy and hues of envy colored the way I viewed everything.
I have watched friends fall at my left side and brothers abandon calling at my right hand. And in my most vulnerable moments, I can tell you that the same spirit has not just come nigh my dwelling, she has kissed my ear on my own couch as I gaze into an iPhone wondering when I will ever “matter”. She has taken my place in bed, next to my wife, while I pace through hallways and try to develop ideas like adding rungs onto a proverbial ladder. I’ve read enough books, listened to enough podcasts, and heck even preached enough sermons about not comparing peoples highlight reels to your life. It’s easy to say “Amen” to, but seemingly impossible to escape.
I chased success like some mythical white beast, that was always just far enough from my hands that I would never really reach it. I found myself constantly pursuing something other than the pursuer, and you simply can’t live like that. All in all, I found myself subscribed to the idea that working harder was the answer. There’s nothing wrong with hard work, but my every movement became about proving
something to someone. I didn’t care much who it was, but I had an intrinsic need for validation that was achingly insufficient – all because my life didn’t look like the Instagram feeds that I had idolized. All because twitter followers somehow eluded me but migrated to everyone else. Because I couldn’t for the life of me gain a blue check on Facebook. Because I only got to speak at four camps per summer, and not ten.
There’s a reason it feels like you are always chasing… running and gasping for each breath, holding your ribs in exhaustion. Because comparison NEVER wants to you to know satisfaction. No matter how big the ministry, how influential your social clout, how perfect your airbrushed photos are, there will always be another dying star that vies for your attention. And if we do not make a conscious choice to abdicate comparison’s power of our life we will make our spiritual dwelling in the slums of rejection.
Why? Because comparison and rejection are winning dance partners, and our western-progressive-Christian minds are the ballroom. A month ago, I found myself back in this place of transition. This time not just in employment, but in calling, in residence, in economic status, what felt like every aspect of life. At the pinnacle of this change, I laid in bed one night for hours listening to the same song on repeat. “I’d rather see your stars explode” by a band called Slaves. (If you’re some hyper-purist, don’t listen, they aren’t even remotely a Christian band). But I lay there incessantly hitting “play again” all for a three-line bridge towards the end of the song where the singer says, “I’m gonna show what I’ve got left. You haven’t even seen my best. Just wait.” Somehow without me even noticing, years’ worth of rejection began surfacing and I found myself weeping, gritting my teeth and bitterly declaring those three lines of lyrics over and over again
All of that to say this, the comparison had made me believe that I would never live without being in someone else’s shadow. A predecessor, a successor, an illegitimate idol who fits into skinny jeans better than I ever have hopes for, the list goes on…
That night I made a decision that the world would see my best. No matter what it took. I persuaded my own heart to trust that I still had something left inside to offer. The only way we kill comparison is regaining security in our God-given identity. Mine is different than yours. And it’s different than my wife’s. It’s different than the pastor with 12,000 followers and it’s different than the guy’s who preaches in a living room for 12 people. We must come to a place where we unashamedly embrace our differences, where we celebrate the favor of God on our friends and on our rivals, where we cancel our premium subscription to Satan’s lies and rejoice in who we are as children of God. I’m more and more convinced daily that genuine revival and comparison cannot cohabitate. The reason is, revival and comparison are at war for who gets the glory. If we authentically desire a move of God, comparison must die.
Revival and comparison are at war for who gets the glory. If we authentically desire a move of God, comparison must die. Click To Tweet
-Johnathan Key
Johnathan is a national speaker and church consultant with a passion for training leaders to “make things better. always.” With 13 years experience in ministry, Johnathan now travels spreading fires and coaching pastors, leaders, and volunteers to understand that revival is a choice. He is a husband to Andrea, Dad to Israel, and Unashamed Skylanders collector. Instagram | Twitter | Facebook | Website
Church Leadership, COREY GIBSON, featured, God, Johnathan Key, leadership, ministry, Pastor Corey Gibson, Pastor Johnathan Key, TCGWKY, The Comparison Will Kill You
Leadership, Reflections & Introspection, That'll Preach Sayings, Worship & Prayer
13 things in 13 years… Leadership & Life
13 things in 13 years… Leadership & Life
This month marks 13 years in ministry as an adult. In the past 13 years, I have learned a lot and wanted to share with my readers and friends some of the greatest leadership principles and life lessons I’ve learned. Not by any means am I saying that I am perfect in all of these things, but it’s something that I am consistently doing or improving in. All of life is a process of and for growth…
- Jesus is Everything
Jesus is the main thing and matters more as we sojourn through life. He is the rhyme and reason for living. The centrality of all of life is found in him. Jesus is the ONE we worship, love and Gospel we teach/preach. He is the ONE we point people to. We give him pre-eminence as he has all authority and power. ALL that we do, should be from an overflow of intimacy with Jesus and in devoted obedience to him. He is the only truth & way to salvation and hope in life. This is our first priority as leaders. Acts 17:2-3 | Colossians 1:15-23; 2:2-10; 3:1-4 | John 1:1-18; 14:1-14 | Luke 2:36-38 - Trust the Voice of the Holy Spirit
Right before Jesus ascends to heaven to be at the right hand of the Father… he sends us the Holy Spirit. The leadership of the Holy Spirit is so crucial to the day to day life that we live. The Holy Spirit bestows gifts from the Father to us to live accordingly in regards to the Great Commission. We are also empowered to live according to the Gospel and commissioned to walk out the Sermon on the Mount as a lifestyle. We must subscribe to the leadership of the Holy Spirit!!! He is the leader Jesus gave us… so we must walk in his ways! Beloved, leave plenty of room for the Holy Spirit to move through your services and lives as he deals with our hearts. The Holy Spirit is actively alive as a person to Counsel, Convict, & Comfort Us. Acts 1:1-8; 2 | John 14:15-31; 16:5-15 | Luke 24:49 - Define the WIN
As if to say… what’s the purpose? As leaders and in life in general we have to know the purpose to why we do whatever we do. No matter what it is, such as planning an event, preaching a sermon or partnering with an orphanage, the WIN is vital. This WIN keeps your focus, allows you to set goals and makes leading others easier. Vision, Mission, and Core Values all shape your WIN. Great questions to ask yourself – “What is the WIN for my life, family, business and/or ministry/church?” Another question to ask – “How can I help someone else defined their WIN? - Authentic Community Matters
This is a big one for me. Simply put, the people you do life with matters. Your close friends and family, your spouse, your business partners, your mentor and the ones who speak directly into your life – all make up this authentic community. You set who is in this community. BE CAREFUL who has an ear to your voice AND whose voice you have an ear to. Your authentic community must have the right to support/champion, encourage, confront & correct you. Your community needs to be people who love and believes in you, not just what you do or what they can get out of it/you. God is a God of relationship and community. More about friendship and authentic community… - Rest well
The hated 4-letter word for a hard-worker. Often times, this is one of the hardest things to do especially as it relates to ministry and entrepreneurship. REST! We’re called to rest and it’s biblical people. Our God, the Creator of the Universe, rested after creation. Most of the miracles of Jesus are surrounded with Jesus resting either before or after the miracle. When I think of resting well, I am always reminded of Psalm 127… Isn’t it funny right before the fruit (offspring/children) comes from the man’s labor, rest was a need. Do not neglect the times of resting in the Lord. In a society that always has a constant go and move now mentality, God calls us to rest. Even the battle in the mind feeling like we always have to be doing something, God calls us to rest. Make no mistake about it there are things to do, important things… but rest is needed in order for you to not burn out. You and I can rest in the finished work of the Cross. Interestingly enough… resting well requires being refreshed and being refreshed comes from repenting as we spend quality time with Jesus. - Forgive quickly (Move forward)
Simply move forward from the hurt and pain. I have learned after several years in ministry to just let things go. Forgive quickly and move on as you free yourself from the burden. I love how Jesus handles no doubt with joy a moment of denial from Peter. He poetically tells Peter to keep the WIN alive by feeding Jesus’ sheep (people). The Bible never records Jesus seeking an apology from Peter for denying him or even Peter offering one up. They just moved forward with the mission. This is to say regardless if you ever get an ‘I’m Sorry’ or apology from the person that done you wrong — FORGIVE & PRESS FORWARD IN YOUR MISSION. If you don’t pain will cripple you to move forward and the weight of it all will consume you. - Own the mistake/Failure isn’t final
We have all been there and done something completely stupid. We’re humans after all. I’m personally all to acquainted with the apostle Paul’s statement of doing what I don’t want to do (Roman 7:15-20). If you make a mistake, own up to it and don’t make excuses. Repent quickly and seek counsel, if need be, from a trusted friend. This is a sign of a true leader. Leaders are willing to take responsibility even if it’s not a wrongdoing of theirs. Likewise, we will all fail at something. You are not your failure. It doesn’t have to define you and keep you in chains/bondage. Break free from it by owning the failed thing by admitting to it. Failure is not your identity and it isn’t final! “TRANSPARENCY… light can only shine through something that’s transparent.” – Chad Veach // Sidenote: True leaders also at times own the mistake of others so that they don’t have to bear the guilt, shame, exposure, and punishment. Don’t believe me… look no further than Jesus himself and the Cross. We are all recipients of this. - Be Guarded
Sure this one could have fit under “Authentic Community Matters” but this is so important that I had to make it a separate point. GUARD your time, heart, and yes. Are you married, guard your marriage/spouse? Those with kids, guard family time. This is not about a defensive strategy, but rather an offensive tool and protection. You must protect yourself. The right yes, to the wrong person or time, is so damaging as a leader. Develop boundaries and create personal policies/procedures for this. We as leaders must strategically cultivate the “art of no” so that we can produce the “fruit of yes.” I remember 12 years ago, I had a huge opportunity at an amazing church, but I turned it down, to protect my character. Often, we think of faith as saying yes to impossible things. We also need to look at it as saying no to something great, because we know God has something better. Hard but needed as a leader. - Be faithful & faith-fill
Are you found in the house of being consistent and then filled with faith? Like when people describe you, do loyal, supportive, constant and steadfast come to mind? How about a person who just believes the absolute best of an impossible situation? These two character traits are so crucial to a leader as they set the trajectory of your calling. Be faithful in your time, resources and friendship. Be faith-fill to the point where people look at you a little crazy because overwhelming hope and joy are displayed. Surround yourself with these types of people… it is contagious! - Honor unconditionally
I know, I know… we like the honor part but hate unconditionally part. It’s hard, so I really do get it. But if we want to lead well, we must also honor well. How’s your honor in public AND in private??? This could make all the difference. How about your honoring even when it’s not reciprocated? “Honor is vital in the Kingdom. A culture of honor that seeks to uplift and encourage others produces superb growth conditions.” – Graham Cooke - Enjoy the journey
Life is but a vapor… here one moment and gone the next. Enjoy the journey God has you on, no matter if it wasn’t what you expected or schemed up in 7th grade. - Pray always. Worship always.
Prayer has the power to make ordinary men and women, extraordinary, SO PRAY. No matter the season of life, and no matter the circumstances – Prayer and worship ALWAYS win. I have personally talked myself out of crazy things just by praying or rocking out to worship. When life gets you down… worship lifts you up.
– If we fail in prayer, we fail everywhere. – Pastor Daniel Gray
– Any sermon that is not birthed in prayer is not a message from God no matter how learned the preacher. A.W. Tozer
– If God answered all your prayers would it change the world or just your world? – Pastor Chris Hodges
– Worship is our response to what we value most. As a result, worship fuels our actions, becoming the driving force of all we do. – Pastor Louie Giglio
– Your worship provokes victory. Pastor Johnathan Key
– Worship reminds us who God is and who we are. As our soul worships, we stay level, grounded in God, and become our authentic selves. – Pastor Judah Smith
Previous Journals on Prayer & Worship: My Prayer Is Worth It | A Dog and Her Crumbs | Embrace the Worship - Comparison kills
Maybe one of the most dangerous things we can do in ministry is to allow the comparison game to get the best of us. This game is consumed with jealousy/envy, vanity, friendly fire and unhealthy need for competition. The church/ministry, event, and leader are not in competition with me and what I am doing. We are on the same team. Yes, it is wise to see what others are doing & how they are doing it. Sure “borrow” an idea or fifty-two… but obsessing with their model, their size, their leadership focus/style and their arts/media is super unhealthy. I cannot help but wonder even in my own life how much this comparison shapes my thinking. Every time I get on Instagram or Facebook and see the latest, I wonder how damaging it is to my own soul seeing well-meaning people I admire doing things I want or dream of doing. If you and I aren’t careful, we will end up wishing we were someone else and lose focus on our calling, gifts, and purpose.We all have a race that we have to run, but I can’t run my race while watching yours in your lane. I think Robert Madu gives the best picture of this while ministering about Saul and David. Longevity in ministry is paved when we get our focus off of others and back on God and the WIN.
Leadership Principles and Life Lessons
13 in 13, Chad Veach, Chris Hodges, COREY GIBSON, Daniel Gray, featured, God, Jesus, Joy, Judah Smith, leadership, Louie Giglio, Love, pastor, Pastor Corey Gibson, Prayer, Resting In God, Robert Madu, worship
Guest Post, Reflections & Introspection, That'll Preach Sayings
Authentic Love for People
Guest Blogger, Michael Vanden Berge shares some candid thoughts on authentic love.
If I talk a lot about God, the Bible, and Church, but I fail to ask about other people’s needs, I’m simply making a lot of empty religious noise. If I graduate from theological seminary and know all the answers to questions you’ll never even think of asking, and if I have all the degrees to prove it … and if I say I believe in God with all my heart, soul, and strength, claiming to have incredible answers to my prayers, but I fail to take the time to find out what makes others laugh and why they cry, I’m nothing. If I sell an extra car and some of my books to raise money for poor starving kids somewhere, and if I give my life for God’s service and burn out after pouring everything I have into the work, but do it all without ever once caring about the people, the real hurting people—the moms and dads and sons and daughters and orphans and widows and the lonely and forgotten—if I pour my life into the Kingdom but forget to love those here on earth, my energy is wasted, and so is my life.
Here is what love is like … genuine love. God’s kind of love. It’s patient. It can wait. It helps others, even if they never find out who assisted them. Love doesn’t look for greener pastures. Love doesn’t boast. It doesn’t try to build itself up to be something it isn’t. Love doesn’t act in a loose, immoral way. It doesn’t seek to take, but it willingly gives. Love doesn’t lose its temper. It doesn’t keep changing its mind. Love doesn’t think about how difficult the other person is, and certainly, doesn’t think of how it could get back at someone. Love is grieved deeply over the evil in this world, but it rejoices over truth. Love comes and sits with you when you’re feeling down and finds out what is wrong. It empathizes with you and believes in you. Love knows you’ll come through just as God planned, and love carries on to the end. It doesn’t give up, quit, diminish, or go home.
Love perseveres, even when everything goes wrong and the feelings leave and the other person doesn’t seem as special anymore. Love succeeds 100 percent of the time.
That, my friend, is what genuine love is.
My friend lets pour out His love onto others. Let’s make Jesus look good, for he is that good.
Love is grieved deeply over the evil in this world, but it rejoices over truth. Click To Tweet
Michael Vanden Berge, Reaching the Hungry, Missionary. Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
