Randomness, Reflections & Introspection, Worship & Prayer
The Day I …
Tired but not knocked out
It was a peaceful night outside… I laid in my bed at midnight listening to some worship music (Never Lost – Rita Springer & Catherine Mullins) on repeat. Anyone who truly knows me knows that I am a repeater – by accident and on purpose. This night, it was on purpose. I even jumped on Instagram to post a picture about the song. About 15 mins go by and something shift in my heart and mind. I was completely discontent with just about everything. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and that I needed to get away. For me, my favorite times with Jesus is when I drive and it’s just him and I. I jumped in my car and start driving while still listening to the worship song on repeat. As I started to drive from my house, it started to lightly rain and drizzle. I ended up at a Walmart. It was here that forever changed my night.
It was about 12:30 am, August 16th, 2017… and I screamed at God. In prayer, I began to explicitly and passionate scream about my situation and how I felt. I laid everything that was in and on my heart. Every feeling, emotion, doubt, brokenness, hurt and concern. I admitted my struggle with not feeling God near in times of uncertainty, lack of faith with seemingly unanswered prayers, feelings of tiredness (mentally, spiritually and physically). It was after this moment that I felt a nudge of the Spirit. I begin singing the song I was listening to as a declaration over my life. The chorus of the song says this:
Wind, listen to the sound of power on my lips
Jesus has broken the curse, He has never lost a battle
Who are you great mountain, that you should not bow low
Jesus defeated the darkness, He has never lost a battle
Immediately started to cry as I began to sing these words not just out of my mouth and heart… but from my spirit. My lamentation slowly became my praise. After about listening to the song all the way through in silence, I changed the song to King of My Heart. I started praising Jesus for the victory before it happens as well as thanking him for what he is doing in my life and what he has already done. I listened to this song two more times before changing the song to a Spontaneous Medley by Daniel Bashta. While leaving from the Walmart parking lot, I felt at peace and was able to go to sleep when I got home. It was probably the best night’s rest in a long time. Fast-forward to 6:30 pm that same day…
My pastor at the church calls an impromptu prayer meeting that he felt the Lord whispering for the church and what was next for our context of ministry. I went in, tired and hungry for the Spirit of God and natural food! I went to the altar just to kneel and sit as I soak in God’s presence. This song that I have never heard, Extravagant by Bethel Music came on. As I was praying and listening to the words I begin to get teary-eyed. One of my best friends came over and just passionately prayed over me hope, strength and fulfilled promises. The song changed to I Need You More by Kim Walker-Smith. I haven’t heard this song in years, so I started to sing it out loud. My pastor came over as I was just sitting down on the floor and laid hands on me. He asked if I would stand and begin to speak life into me. He prayed over me hope, fulfilled promises and endurance for the journey. While all of this was going on, I received text messages from two other best friends who responded to my earlier text about prayer and my experience the night before.
Thank you Jesus
I said all this to say… this journey with Christ is not always easy or even pretty but it is worth it. We have to be vulnerable with Jesus and others we trust. God doesn’t grow apathetic or emotionally disconnected to our situations. God is not easily offended when we approach him with our cares, cries, laughter or even screams. He can take our issues! This was what made King David so near and dear to God, that God called him a man after his own heart. David gave everything to God – good, bad and ugly. In seasons of good & joy, seasons of weakness & failures and seasons of uncertainty, David honored God with being vulnerable and honest. This is what it means to be in an authentic relationship.
As I am writing this is what the Spirit of the Lord is saying:
The voice of fear, doubt, and hopelessness may be screaming loud in your mind but the voice of Jesus whispers a louder word in your heart and spirit. His voice says you are loved, not forgotten and filled with hope. His voice says “I have never lost a battle and I won’t lose one now. I will fight for you and you will overcome – just as I have overcome the world. Keep believing, keep enduring and keep declaring… my faithful son and daughter!”
Bethel Music, Catherine Mullins, COREY GIBSON, Daniel Bashta, faith, featured, God, hope, Jesus, King of My Heart, Never Lost, Pastor Corey Gibson, Prayer, Rita Springer, Screaming at God, worship
Mind Dumps, Randomness, Reflections & Introspection
Father’s Day Mind Dump
First I want to wish my father, Eugene Gibson as blessed Father’s Day. Also wishing all the other dads a blessed day. Enjoy the day. I have a few folks who keeps asking about me and what’s next, so in a effort to keep everyone abreast, here it goes:
- Finishing up my last few weeks here in Kalamazoo MI. Kalamazoo has been good and I have met a lot of lifelong friends but it’s time to move on. I will be moving at the beginning of July to head to Alabama to spend some time with some dear friends for a few weeks resting. The plan is to transition from there to my next assignment and church God calls me to. I fully expect to dig roots and build community wherever God leads me next and that includes longevity in the grace (calling) that God releases over my life..
- I have had some really great interviews over the last 2 months with churches in MI, FL, GA, TX and CA. As of now I have 2 more coming up. I am really, REALLY excited about a possible church and partnering with them to bringing revival to their church, community, city and schools. Praying for God’s best for me and the next church. I always say, “Waiting is the hardest and also the beneficial!”
- I always get asked this in interviews or by other people – “What’s God teaching you in this season of life?” My answer is always – “He is teaching & redefining what a Good Father he is and that he has good gifts/things for me. That it’s okay to ask & seek for those gifts. I am knowing him more personally, beyond what Scripture says and what others say!”
- Often times, when I go walking in the evenings, I am just enamored by his presence while I am worshipping and walking.
- I am clinging to healthy and positive encouragement. I seek that and enjoy it. I have surrounded myself around people who speak life into me and want the best for me. Regardless of family or friendship, this is important to me. This season is proving to shine a light on those who I call friend.
- Staying positive about my schoolwork and completing my Bachelors Degree. This is still a priority and I am excelling at it in my grades.
- I returned home at the end of May to celebrate my birthday with family & interview with a church but more importantly, honor someone who meant a lot to me. She was like a 2nd mother to me for a long time, and I was apart of 2 of 3 sons weddings (Groomsmen & Officiant). I have known their family for 16 years. Still trying to process her death. I know this without a doubt… that if it wasn’t for her and her belief in/support of me, I would not be in ministry today. And for that, I am forever thankful. Thank You Janine A. Owen!
COREY GIBSON, Father's Day, God, Good Father, hope, Interviews, Jesus, mind dump, Pastor Corey Gibson
