I’ve had several people ask me what this hashtag (#tcgwky) meant in relation to my last social media post. The letters represent “The Comparison Game Will Kill You.” It comes from the thought based out of my 13 things in 13 years, specifically #13 – Comparison Kills. This journal is so important to me and to leadership, that I decided to have one of my best friends (Pastor Johnathan Key) co-write this subject with me. He is all too familiar with this subject and the impact it has on a spiritual and/or business leader. His portion will be featured in part 2 a.k.a “Round 2, Fight!” – which you can view here.
This is what I wrote during my last leadership journal…
#13 – Comparison Kills: Maybe one of the most dangerous things we can do in ministry is to allow the comparison game to get the best of us. This game is consumed with jealousy/envy, vanity, friendly fire and an unhealthy need for competition. The church/ministry, event, and leader are not in competition with me and what I am doing. We are on the same team. Yes, it is wise to see what others are doing & how they are doing it. Sure “borrow” an idea or fifty-two… but obsessing with their model, their size, their leadership focus/style and their arts/media is super unhealthy. I cannot help but wonder even in my own life how much this comparison shapes my thinking. Every time I get on Instagram or Facebook and see the latest, I wonder how damaging it is to my own soul seeing well-meaning people I admire doing things I want or dream of doing. If you and I aren’t careful, we will end up wishing we were someone else and lose focus on our calling, gifts, and purpose.We all have a race that we have to run, but I can’t run my race while watching yours in your lane. I think Robert Madu gives the best picture of this while ministering about Saul and David. Longevity in ministry is paved when we get our focus off of others and back on God and the WIN.
I want to expound on this a little more…
The comparison game is a killer to the health of a leader. It steals the joy and passion for the very purpose that leader has. Comparison is a constant nagger causing vision, purpose, and faith to continuously be called into question. It can destroy friendships and partnership. Lastly, it also seeks to eat at the mental health of a leader. This deadly game has become game over for a lot of people. In my honest opinion, it is the greatest threat to a spiritual leader. It is one of Satan’s favorite snare and tool to use in destroying a pastor and leader.One of the most dangerous things we can do in ministry is to allow comparison to get the best of us. Click To Tweet
When we begin to compare negatively… we are essentially telling God that what he is doing in us, is not better than what he is doing in someone else. We look at their status and position, their numbers/size, giving/sales, social media friends/followers, their likes/comments, and their every day and simply lose focus on the God-moments that is happening within our own lives. Often times, the clear indicator of being a character (player) in the comparison game is the unwillingness to celebrate others OR the feeling of not enough in relations to others. THE COMPARISON GAME IS A LOSING BATTLE THAT WILL LEAVE YOU WOUNDED, LONELY AND IN DISOBEDIENCE!
This played out too well in the life of King Saul, who was filled with unbridled jealousy and enviousness. He saw David as a threat simply hearing silly girls chant “Saul kills his thousands, and David his ten-thousands.” This little serenade started a saga of hatred and attempted murders. It snowballed and ultimately landed David as King and Saul dead.
Really think about your life and ministry… like really think about it. Are you seemingly playing in this game of negative comparison, losing sight of your identity, your vision, and your race? Are you more concern with what others are doing instead of what you are doing? How’s your motive when you look at others and that they are doing? Can you celebrate them without the “I wish that was me” or “I can do that, too?”THE COMPARISON GAME IS A LOSING BATTLE THAT WILL LEAVE YOU WOUNDED, LONELY AND IN DISOBEDIENCE! Click To Tweet
A moment of transparency… Lately, this comparison game and struggle has gotten the best of me. I see a lot of my friends I personally know succeeding at life, relationships, and ministry, while I feel stuck in a transitional holding pattern. Some days my heart aches to have a wonderful highlight reel of life, always on the go, traveling, speaking, being creative and simply enjoying. I came face to face with this comparison monster about a month ago and it has caused me to take close introspection, refocus on Jesus and pursue my callings. So I decided to get rid of what has caused most of this – SOCIAL MEDIA! I have currently been off of all social media for the 2 weeks now and it feels great. More time is spent worshipping, in prayer and doing intentional things for my life. I encourage anyone to take inventory of their life and remove the comparison between you and someone else. Find joy and hope in the thing that you are doing. Celebrate others wins, encourage when someone is down and embrace this journey of life.